How Do I Learn 'out Of Control'? Poem by Raj Dronamraju

The room was filled with people I didn't recognize
Which led me not to recognize myself
As capable as I was, I made stillness an art form
Plotted the design of when to let go as if the action was theoretical only
Never claimed a deadline when the process could be dragged out
I hope those frenzied ones send their lives to me as auguries

Though they choked the aperture with hesitation as a virtue
They could still view the tableau of themselves gone wild
Not caring what others thought or said
Hair splayed chaotically across sweaty skulls
Arms swung akimbo as if caught in mid jamboree's photographic flash

And I wanted to blissfully cede control of all functions
All behaviors especially those relating to public interactions
I'll be as handsome as I tell myself to be
And my voice will boom across football fields making people duck as if fearing jets flying overhead