Raj Dronamraju

I shook your hand
I took the loss
Escape was impossible
I took the loss
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The hand of friendship was offered
The hand of friendship was slapped away
The trajectory of the spurned
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We are the goldfish in the bowl
We are known as Mr. and Mrs. Goldfish
I don't mind this transparency, a benign surveillance
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Have you ever heard Saturday morning radio?
Is the radio programming different on Saturday morning compared to weekdays?

She dreads small talk and making his lunch
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She is the queen of the replacements
Her people await further orders in a large open-air building
A former factory - old and gray and damp, it looks like the 1950's
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Love sighted through an opening in deep forest
A blur that moves quickly and vanishes
But leaves a lasting impression
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If obnoxiousness is art consider this your exhibition gallery
Different stages of difficult behavior hang on the walls
"Don't touch" but some illiterate fool usually ends up doing just that
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In those days, he was much lauded for throwing a football
And much desired by his female classmates because of this
And much celebrated with his own car at a young age and homecoming king vote totals and numerous appearances in yearbook photos
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He is the nipplepincher
He likes to pinch nipples
He doesn't like very many people
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To know what happens or doesn't happen
Sexual paralysis on the interstate
Delude yourself youth is an athletic shoe rebellion
And the boys and the girls don't wear seatbelts
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Shine is the word we use when we have nothing else to offer
Burn is the word we use to dress up mundane emotions
Self-image is the word we use when we really mean shine
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I am not a fireman and I don't care if this building burns down
I am not a politician and I am not bringing people together for a common purpose or at all
Coming out the other side, I could not predict
Whether I would receive sincere greetings of good fortune or be showered with shouted abuse
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When I was a young man, I wrote a poem entitled Human Being Impersonator
I did not save a copy of it and can't remember how it went
Something to do with stopping cruelty to animals and complaining about the selfishness of people
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Practice doesn't necessarily pan out in this particular example
Long nights, short fuses, money worries documented in piles in the dining room
Pick at love like small parasites on the back of some great beast
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If you want something from me, I want something from you first
Have you read Shakespeare? I don't want a pound of flesh, I want a ton of flesh!

I want big signifiers - Scorched earth, razed cities, ruined lives
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Thank you for keeping me in line
For working with others who don't know they are working together
Whose faces and bodies are tied up with string
And who coordinate the pulling of this string in a kind of instinctual rhythm
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Watching through the restaurant window from my table
I see her park in front but she does not get out of her car at first
She looks in the rearview mIrror and prepares herself
Touches up her hair, daubs powder on her chin and cheeks, lipstick applied with a smack of lips in completion, eyeliner refreshed - lines drawn over a second time
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The ugliness of effort, its failure to attract
You talk like you really care and it runs down your arm like sweat

It's raining bourbon
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Countdown to lunch hour in a uniform that doesn't quite fit
And looks like it may have come from a costume shop

His attention is in rows, glass cases full of rings and necklaces
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I lay on a bed of cold concrete
While the goodbye people conduct social positioning that will be reversed later
I gave up on them but they did not give up on me
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