How Marriages Should End Poem by Joseph Fusco

My brother-in-law employs two strategies when he desires guests to leave his home.
If it's an outdoor event, he folds up every unoccupied chair 'till the hangers-on get the message and depart.
If it's an indoor event, he plugs in the dust-buster and sucks up the
debris in every room 'till the house is guest-free.
I wish we knew of these two time-savers at the end of our marriage.
Instead of lying and cheating and not coming home, I could have
folded up the chairs except one and asked you to sit on it.
Instead of drinking heavily, slipping into depression, then finally
shouting "Can't you understand, I don't love you anymore! " I could
have dust-busted around that chair 'till you saw The Big Picture and
departed.
Imagine the pain and bitterness we could have avoided with just a
folding chair and a household - cleaning appliance.