I Am Here... Poem by Amber Zitzloff

I am here, though it does not feel like it.

Every time I wake, I wonder am I really here?

Or am I dreaming from heaven or hell?

Even some place in between…

It takes me a while to realize that I am still here,

Alive and well, physically, anyways.

With so many thoughts running through my head,

So early, it is, in the morning,

I often wonder if I will make it through the day.

I rise from my bed,

Thinking about what excuse I can make,

To convince myself to stay in this world.

Some days, I can find a reason to live.

Other days, I am just to numb to do anything.

But many other days I am so down,

And no matter what anyone says or does,

I want to die.

It’s that simple.

Nothing more, nothing less.

By nightfall I am so lonely,

With no one around to hold my hand,

Or comfort me in anyway.

Not because they are not there,

But because in my mind they have left me.

Alone…

Misunderstood…

I feel like nothing is left and finally I drift into sleep.

Waiting for tomorrow to come so I can once again,

Try to convince myself to find a reason,

A reason for living