I Can Find No Answers Anywhere Poem by Gert Strydom

(in answer to Daleen / Helena Enslin)

I see days, weeks, months and a year
without you passing just too quickly,
where my life jerks to a standstill.
I do not have a clue how to go on,
every morning feels like without God's grace.

I can find no answers anywhere
that does indicate what has estranged you from me
and love, trust and all hope you violate,
you break my soul, my spirit, humanity and being a man,
into pieces that will never again be fixed.

As a friend in the present, with the beautiful of the past,
you do estrange me that the children do not remain mine,
the grandchildren do still regard me and I do not know how to view this,
where you believe that love is not enough and I miss you so terribly
and it makes everything between us undone and you are not involved,
where love comes from God, it's eternal like the love in Him,
at almost sixty there is no career, someone else, or hope that does remain,

where nothing can stop sincere love,
and God does prepare unknown wonderful things
as He does regard love so high and love can attain anything.
Love is the thing that is above and more than anything.
I wish I can make that, which brings pain to you undone,
where for you and yours I want just the best
and bitterness remains without you as my wife.

I get it that you now write driven by love for me,
or maybe it's mere being sorry for how I am,
where my soul is so in tatters,
that I cannot understand how God is present,
where everything falls like dead leaves in the autumn
and the sun like blood hangs every morning as a sign,
where I continually long, for another, better you.

[References: "Hoop sal weer groei" (Hope will grow again) by Daleen / Helena Enslin.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor anything above, nor anything below, nor anything else in creation can separate us from the love of God that is ours in union with the Messiah Jesus, our Lord." Romans 8: 38-39.

"But as it is written, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2: 9.

I am quoting her beautiful poem here:

"Hope will grow again" by Daleen / Helena Enslin

"(for Gert) "

"I see the silver-grey
caught in your blue eyes,
dark depths of longing,
poured out and unbolted,
thrown-out over your busy morning.

If I could find the words of comfort
to bind you to us,
to pick up
the glass-splinters
out of the chambers of your soul.

Words of hope and tranquillity
I would scatter it like flower-confetti,
after a storm and time everything will be away.
The bitterness will make place for us,
beautiful memories will find a nesting-place
and make place for the new.

You will again laugh,
drops of memories
will water your soul
and hope will grow again.
the clouds will flower crimson
and the sun will shine.]