I Don't.. Poem by Sarah Alshatti

Sometimes I do not know what to say or do
Things cross my mind like a marathon
I wonder why I am like this
Why my only way of escaping is acting perfectly like am totally fine
Smiles shines on my face while my heart can not stop bleeding
When the day is done my tears falls till the moment I fall sleep
Yes, I gave up lots of things for the sake of others
I admit that I rarely do something for myself to fill my day with some enjoyment
Responsibilities and scars of others are the load that I carry on my shoulder
I never complain, scream, shout or even needed someone beside me to ask him for hug
I believe I mastered acting and got the role of being the brave girl who have no scars or pain
I wonder when is the time that I will find someone who can see through me
Will I be able to find the one who will give me a hug while telling me that everything will be fine
Will I be able to tell him all the scars and the pain that I bear?
I do not want to be acknowledged for what I have done to anyone
I do not want anyone to repay me or thank me
I just do not want to be misunderstood by others
I do not want to see them upset or mad at me
I am fine to take it all inside and I can smile even though my wings are already broken
I do not know if some people might think that it is a stupidity or am just too kind
No matter what other thinks and what their thoughts I only have one answer
That is just me and my own believes
Each hard day must have a bright side
Each cloud will be gone when the sun rise.