I Don't Feel Part Of This World Anymore Poem by Kelvin Rush

I don't feel part of this world anymore
I want to go home where it's safe and secure
I just don't fit in with the rest of the crowd
I feel all alone floating around like a cloud

Family and friends that were once so kind
Are all now strangers all the love has declined
The pretence was all part of the cunning mind
The smiling assassin taking aim shooting blind

Breaking apart the recurring dream
Dead from the head down cold and obscene
Shaking in a panic not knowing where to turn
Violent and manic showing no concern

Walking around in a constant daze
This way that way round and round the maze
Total confusion no one has a clue
All the self-delusion there's nothing I can do

Feeling sick again coughing up the blood
Heartbeat speeding up crawling through the mud
All alone no one home I cannot find my way
Help refused self-abused another meaningless day

Waking up in the night wishing I was dead
I lay there paralysed I can't get out of bed
Destitute traumatised I wish I could forget
Stop the mind suicide this never ending threat

Into darkness pain and fear I've been there many times
I'd love to hide to disappear I've paid for all my crimes
I curse the day that I was born and given to this earth
An act of cruelty left forlorn no meaning or self-worth

I don't feel part of this world anymore
I want to go home I can't take anymore