I Feel Lost - Poem by David Lacey
You may fear for me, for I fear the world
Beyond the bounds of the fireplace curled.
I feel lost, sunken deep within a solitude
That offers no solace, all I’m offered is remorse.
I could so easily believe that I had been deceived
At some point upon the course of my journey,
Yet it seems that it is I who has deceived myself
Making a deeper blue the sky, forever lost as I am in sighing.
I’ve fallen again alike so many times before,
Like so many loves I’ve known she offers me the door
Yet allows no clue to be known as to what lies within.
I feel as though I could swim an eternity in her arms
If only she would allow it, yet when she weeps alike
When she sleeps I’m never the one to hold her hand.
She wishes to escape this land and claims that there
Is nothing to tie her here, through blue eyed innocence
She perceives a world of nightshades as a dream realm
A world within which our fantasies are hers to fulfil,
I know she is right in following her dreams, I know
She is ever moving closer to the light that I deny from myself
In each passing moment. A movement towards descent
Keeps me falling throughout every moment my heart is calling out her name,
No one could tie her down, no one who truly loved her
Would ever wish to, this my friend is a feeling that was
Always going to do me harm and though the storm awaits
And is of yet unbroken, I know that every feeling I keep unspoken
Will leave me sleepless upon my journey home to the abyss.
I know I could travel endlessly
Within the recess of my mindscape
Yet alone, here, stoned, I know
I could never call forever
This empty heart my home.
When she speaks of foreign lands
Dismay doth take my heart in hand
Confusing understanding of how true
A selfless love can be.
The fear recedes within this heart of mine
I’m fading, sinking, half the man I once
Dreamed I could become, half the man
I was when my journey begun,
Here, I am half a song un-sung.
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