I'M Illusions Poem by Eman Awad

Here is the truth about the truth,
it hurts so much, and so we have to lie.
Very sweet smile but it isn't sweet,
unless we feel it's sadness and we cry.
The truth about me is simple,
i lied and i cried and i have had enough.
I'm not sure if i'm right like i seem,
there're no rules when it comes to love.
See me through my words,
you'll see i got lost between the pages.
Maybe i was found at times,
but i lost that feeling within my rages.
My life is about love and pain,
i loved and got hurt and i wrote this poem.
And i get points for breathing,
for baring the soarness of my pain, alone.
I'm not asking you to share my life,
every one i knew wanted to, but no one did.
Any other girl would like to be me,
but i'd like to be some one else in my head.
Don't approve to my conditions,
or aprrove, i'd never think any less of you.
It's an adventure when it comes to me,
not owning my heart or owning my mind too.
It's bringing me back from the void,
it's opening my eyes to the smile on your face.
I can see your smile but i don't feel,
any of it's warmness, that beautify my space.
The issue about me is that i'll let go,
of you but i won't let go of your memory.
And you'll torture me even if you're gone,
that smile i never felt, will stay with me.
You must be thinking, she isn't that simple,
and i think i am, i just want you to understand.
I want you to stand by me, be with me,
reach out and touch my cold hand, be my man.
Is it too much to ask,
if you knew, you will have all of me in return.
Think twice, think thrice,
don't be a scar don't be a lesson i've learned.
The truth about me is this,
there is no truth about me that you may feel.
I'm illusions even to my self,
but it's in your hands to let go, or to make me real...