I'M Not Bigfoot Poem by Randy Johnson

I'M Not Bigfoot

People think I'm a beast because I'm hairy.
They run when they see me because they think I'm scary.
They think I'm bigfoot but that's not true.
They think that because I wear size eighteen shoes.
When people look at me, they think a monster is what they're seeing.
They're shocked when they learn that I'm just a hairy human being.
I went to a girl's house for a blind date and you should've saw her run.
I was sterile for a year because her dad shot me in the balls with a tranquilizer gun.
When I went to a diner last night, everybody ran.
I'm getting tired of people thinking I'm a monster just because I'm a hairy and smelly man.

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