I'm Sorry Mother
Poem by Ladicius Angel
I am sorry I have not been perfect,
During my eighteen years of life.
I am sorry you think I am anorexic,
And that I live life by a knife.
I am sorry I am not the same little girl,
That I was a short time ago.
I am sorry that I feel so much pain inside,
And that you have yet to see me grow.
I am sorry you must look into these cold eyes,
And that I have no confidence left to spare.
I am sorry that I like being away from you,
And that you hate the clothes I wear.
I am sorry for keeping things from you,
And for all my self-destruction.
I am sorry for making you yell at me,
And for causing you have that reaction.
I am sorry for all the times I have sided with Dad,
And for not feeling a bit of guilt.
I am sorry for being the reason you damaged,
The relationship we could have built.
I am sorry for using your best kitchen knife,
To slit my wrist for the first time.
I am sorry for making time spent with me,
Have to feel like a crime.
I am sorry for not giving you hugs when you want them,
And I am sorry for resenting you.
I am sorry for not having the same beliefs,
And for always making you argue.
I am sorry I do not like you,
And that I cannot forget things you have said.
I am sorry that each and every day,
Those words go through my head.
I am sorry for never calling,
And that I do not miss you at all.
I am sorry you had to see me at my worst,
Sorry you had to see me fall.
I am sorry I am not the perfect daughter,
And that I am not who you thought I would be.
I am sorry, mother, for letting you down,
I am so sorry for being me.
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