I Used To Be Fat Poem by Denis Martindale

I used to be fat,
Just like one spoilt brat,
As fat as a brat could be...

I could squash you flat,
Just as quick as that...
No-one stood too close to me...

Started a diet,
No need to fry it
And my weight began to fall!

One book! Just buy it!
You've got to try it!
And here's the number to call...

Just chew, chew, chew it!
Then loo, loo, loo it!
And soon, you'll be on the mend!

How do you do it?
Continue through it!
Persevere, my fat, fat friend!

I chewed like a cow,
Yes, I chewed and how
And I exercised each day...

Ta-da! Take a bow!
Just look at me now!
Admit it! I look O.K.!