I Wanted To Be Like Her Poem by Sugar Bear

People seem to think that she’s a Goddess
Say she’s perfect, every guy wanted to worship
Me being modest, I have to be honest
I also wanted to be her, but better
She held the attention that I desired
I wanted to be the fire, but higher
So I decided to be just like her, I deserved
I mocked her pose, from her head way down to her toes
I even made my mouth move the way hers goes
Her nails, her nose, her hair, it all
I wanted to be the doll; I wanted to be the voice every boy called, as planned
1 by 1 they came rolling in, begging to be more than just a friend
True beauty I began to see, but at home, alone, in the mirror I’d see her, not me
Appalled, I wanted to be myself,
But I liked being someone else
I even became a cheerleader, just like her
Ran track, danced, anything to be with her
If she did it, I did it too, but deep inside I knew I could do it all better then she knew
I wore my hair straight instead of its natural curls
That everyone loved to feel, I was a silly girl
I hid my waves to mass its length because I liked to hear what others thought
But my old friends started drifting off, further, and further… until lost
Leaving me, this fake body of a wanna be queen
When I could have so easily, been me
I tried to match her perfect skin, her perfect thighs
Just to be stalked by eyes-
I tried to match the way she does, hugs, bugs, even lies
I was in love with my new life
In love, with the fact that I was somebody awed
A gift from God, which I prayed for it to work this way
But one day, at a home football game
I finally heard the gossip about me, strange
I hid and listened as each and everyone dissed me
Missed me, Cared- which I thought they didn’t
They hated the change I committed
I shifted, back and forth, thinking to myself
“Why did I choose somebody else? ”
“Was I that unhappy with myself? ”
“Did I really want this dream? ” “Is this the way I want to be? ”
“Why can’t I just be myself? ”
I felt my hard work sink deep, deep into the bottom of my heart
I chocked on my shameful barf, and cried
Cried for being so dumb, I wanted to run!
But didn’t know what from, or where
Didn’t know what to do, just didn’t want to be there
I ran to the bathroom, in gloom
Tore off my every inch of her bloom
I soon, began to feel myself again
I wet my hair to expose my curls I shamefully hid
And trashed all the fake evidence, I missed
Myself so bad, I walked to my old friends I had
Who were glad, and happy to have me back
And she came, surprised at my change
Ashamed, I blamed myself for wishing
I were someone else, I was insane, I dealt-
With the burn before you, and now after you
I wanted to be you, and now- I refuse too
You don’t do everything I want to do
You don’t have everything under your shoes
Blue, she turned and went on with her life
Said “Good-bye, Nice try.”
Just then my stupidity burned, and died
I learned a lesson that:
“Myself is what makes me happy”
And being someone else isn’t worth trying
Its dishonesty, hiding, mocking, lying
When all I wanted was to be shinning
People adore me for being myself
It’s not worth being-
Someone else.