I Wonder.. Poem by Gold Trybes

Nothing hurts more than a heart that's damaged. Nothing makes u feel so empty as much as when you've given your all. Nothing frustrates more than the feeling of rejection. All these I am. All these, am going through. All these are my lot. But what I have ever wanted, craved with every fiber of my being is to be happy. How this basic thing or so to speak has eluded me, beats me. is it too much to want to be happy? Is it too much to pour your heart out? Is it too much, is it too much to love, love and then love more? Three times I tried. Three times I waited. Three times I gave my all. Three times I sacrificed, compromised, and gave all of Me but three times I lost too. I was downed and out. You bled my heart. Not everyone gives their all..but not me..I give and continue to give but pray, why do I always get hurt. Why do I always feel like the victim? Why do I always have to be the one who waits...hmm...I am tired. Love has dealt me a huge one that I almost can't tell anymore..love has struck and won each time and I sit here and wonder. I wonder about when, how and where this woman, well talked about is going to come from? I wonder how different you going to be from the previous ones. I wonder what you going to like or hate about me, I wonder if you going to accept me with my flaws, if you going to open your heart to me or you just going to be one of the time waster. I wonder what you going to do differently from the others, even until the very end for I have tasted both the sweet and the sour pill of love. I wonder what you going to say differently to make me believe when you say you going to Be with me till the very end, that you truly mean it and that you're not for only the times that things are good and in our favor. I wonder what the feeling is going to be when I meet you, mutual, or otherwise? I wonder if indeed you are God's will for me or just another hay in the stack..hmm...I am waiting..waiting to see what path this journey of life and love leads me on. Not waiting without hope though!