If In Revolution Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

If in revolution

If had known when younger
If had known when on run with anger
If had known when as kid was beaten
If had known when slapped in the face
If had known when rose hand in the air
If had known when risked life, position
If had known when I wrote those letters
If had known when had key to the guns
If had known when in charge of voters
If had known when shaking mullahs' hands
If had known when gave up, chose exile
If had known…would have not…

Would have not!
Would have not!
Would have not!

"If" is bird in sky
"If" is a fish-shark
"If" flaps wings in times
"If" showers me floods
"If", "If", "If" till I die…

Full am I with "If" and many wrongs
Rich I am with "If" and "should have not."

Why did I?
Why did I?
Why did I?

Keeps pouring
-on me, a shelterless
-who lost roof over head.

Keep thinking!
Keep sighing!
Keep madness!

My path is a one way
-cannot see me return
-unless end in grave!

In times I dive too deep
-deep in me
-deep in past, until reach
-the book of Zoroaster
-and Gat-ha…

I do not believe in Adam, Eve
- (Though by faith was imposed!)

I see that every "If" is brick
-on top of some bricks
-underneath some bricks
-all made of same clay
-taken, made of the earth
-each of "If's is spice
-or the herb or crop
-used for fixing gourmet.

Together they made what
-is here, on table
-for mouth and for brain!

I become the judge with confessor.
I become Christian in a church.
I become good doctor of brains.

I become Avecina for the king
- (sick in bed in silence but shattered!)

Sina calls for person
- (good with map, addresses)
-measures pulse of Royal
-till takes Shah to girl's door!

Things could be different
-only if…

If was not born there, then
If had not faced what faced
If had a different profession
If the US friends were wiser
If was not insulted as lower…