If Only I Had A Me In Life Poem by Natasha Andeyi

The smiles on their faces and the joys in their hearts,
Not always, but once in the often while I take credit.
The little heavens in the not so heavenly earth,
A number of times are the not so numbered strings I pulled by.
Blame it on the god complex,
The many wars my unwilling heart was enlisted to.
Either or both, their earthly experience is something worth their breath.

Flip the script and suddenly I'm a villain at the climax of any story,
Too much hurt unequal to the acts,
Well… not all the time, just the unbearable kind when in town.
The absence of an ever present shoulder making the weight twice as heavy.
So I selfishly wonder what life would be like if I had a me in my life.

But for a personality that mimics charity,
Some social attribute of a middle child.
Or the typical form of self-interest,
Not forgetting the mood swings that fuel my machine.
Some outcry for a me may seem worthwhile,
But maybe I'm only jealous of the versions they get to see.
A moment with me in my primal nature,
And the change of mind is guaranteed.