Robert Edgar Burns
Imagination! - Poem by Robert Edgar Burns
I flew way out to Seattle,
Just to buy some wet cattle.
Figured I’d dry them out in the south.
One cow had false teeth,
I had to brush them beneath,
The gum line to get the scum out!
In the cattle car I,
Began to swat flies,
But found out I had me no tail.
So Bessie was pleased,
Until Elsie cow sneezed,
To swat all the flies toward the rails.
First one cow went Moo,
And then there was two.
Before long, they were all chiming in.
I told a story or two,
Till my face did turn blue,
Cause a cow was licking my chin!
Now a sow won’t do that,
But they sure do get fat,
Just look at the bacon
When it’s crispy and hot.
But before it is fried, all bacon is shy,
Because it looks very much just like snot!
I would rather hear Moo,
Than Oink Oink, wouldn’t you?
So with the pigs, I wear me headphones.
But I must lift up one ear,
When the chickens are near,
So I won’t hear no crunching of bones!
Big bad wolves may come.
I chase them off with my gun.
When out of bullets, I just yell bang bang.
It’s worked well now, so far.
And the Seattle cows pretend they are,
Trolley cars going clang clang!
Clang clang moo moo.
Watch out for the woo woo.
Sizzle sizzle, cluck cluck,
Let’s pretend we’re duck ducks.
Oink Oink, boing, boing.
Wait A Minute! What’s this boing boing?
Oh, thats just the spring flying off
After your screw came loose you cluck!
And the moral of this story is,
If you fly to Seattle from Florida,
You’re arms will sure get tired and sore!
Wait, there’s more! The END!
If you think this was intelligent,
Then the white coats are coming for you!
Just be glad they are not red coats,
Because Paul Revere is long through.
The line above that said the end,
That was a lie, it is here my friend!
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