Impossible To Know Poem by Annie Cordelia Adams

I spend a couple of ten
or twenty minutes thinking-
about what to write,
because it's as important to me
as the length of eternity;
and you must know what that means
to me
I only wish that there were no cracks
or chips and scratches on me.
I fall apart, then unsuccessfully,
i attempt to glue myself together.

so here's the real deal, the updat on
my ever changing life
my unexamined, messy sort of life

i really find that deep inside
i fell for you after all.
i like you more than anyone,
and i've come so awfully close
to telling you 'i love you, '
though love is such a strong word.
but there's a catch: and this is the
most complicated part

i struggle to belong to anyone
and no one belongs to me.
it's the stronger part of me
that makes the better part decrease
and go into hiding and waste.
my heart is too big for anyone
or anything.
i can't be contained enough
for anyone to hold.
i just wish i were

small enough

to exist only in thoughts.
because, the way i am,
is impossible to describe
and impossible to know