Randy Johnson

Incompetent Doctor - Poem by Randy Johnson

I'm an incompetent Doctor, yes it's true.
If you become my patient, chances are I'll lose you.
My life is always up in smoke.
Because of the lawsuits, I'm broke.

I accidentally gave type O blood to a man who needed type B.
His family ordered their two dobermans to attack me.
They chewed on my face and ripped up my Armani suit.
Before the scars, I was actually cute.

When I operated on a man, I accidentally sewed a surgical instrument inside of him.
His family beat me with baseball bats when I told them.
Last week I operated on George Bush and I lost him too.
I thought people would be mad but instead they said 'thank you'.

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Poem Edited: Saturday, April 15, 2006

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