Independance Poem by Joy Howarth

i only have one life, i shoudlnt waste it
tears over you, shall not be shed anymore
for my age is somewhat of young
no longer do i want whats best for others
for it is time to care for my own
i only have one life, i shouldnt waste it
all the energy that was spent over you two
was stepping stones going up, going down
i hate that i remember it all, a many a scar put on my mind and soul
a life to live of my own is what i seek
for i am done enslaving my self for others
as anyone could see i am now bitter and straying from patience
for i once loved for a one and all
yet my heart has hardened and it is love to blame
i no longer will care for others as i used to
for i am tired of being around the unsatisfying
i only have one life i shouldnt waste it
i will be alone, sad..that i have no love
although for many a year in some sort of manner
my love has gone wasted to the thankless
i was once happy and all could see me shine
yet later to come the trust was in a bind
and a year may pass and still your heart will be bitter
how badly do i want to care for others
for it is a predicament to stop myself
for it is time to stop running to the ones i love
let them carry themselves to me
if at all not then i shall know the truth
i am meant to take care of myself
maybe i am too young or immature for love
but that to be the case my heart shall be down
i will miss all that weve done
but a life together would be somehwhat dumb
how can i not see..a love for you makes a false happiness
where i can be overwhelmed but yet in a weeks times
here we are in a mess
i need to make myself believe
that its finally time for me and only me
how to apply my love that is dimishing towards myself
seems on the side of impossible
although i should believe that after years of trying for love
its time for me...and only me
some may think that this would sound quite selfish
but do those who question, think that is truly possible?
my stories will go on and on
of the ones who hurt me taught me or loved me most
it will be hard to pinpoint the positives in such stories
but life goes on with or without you
try to make ammends without a whine
after awhile it may seem like a chore
for this thing we call love is something both have to endure
if one is pulling the weight and the other not nearly as much
it is time to put that love to a rest
when it seems like your at your end
when your memories wont disperse
keep pushing for yourself to your goals
remember that they could have had something
a something that is forever growing
you could of had my love and my servitude
although your lack of care and gratitude
leave me to strive for solitude
so here i am. standing on the ground
ready to live life. even if its by myself
its time to take care of me....just me.