Instead Of.... Poem by Lodigiana Poetess

He could have said ' you're not my type'

But didn't and we dated……

Instead he bought a ring that gleamed and promised love.

He could have told the preacher ‘ I'm not for her- it's a mistake...

Instead he popped champagne then fed me wedding cake.

He could have said' lets wait a while I'm not that keen on kids'

Instead he bought a cot and drapes and did what good dads did.

Instead he said he loved me,

I know now he never did,

but he was all I wanted …..

so believed him like a kid.

He could have shared the broken nights, the teething and the joy

Instead he looked away from home - he was a naughty boy.

First one affair and then another and a third as well,

he may have had so many more but really, who can tell?

So finally he made his choice to leave my world behind,

and go seek fresher pastures new and see what he could find.

He could have said ‘I'm sorry for the pain I know you feel"

Instead he walked away without a glance left only me to deal

with children, crying for their dad, and asking where he'd gone,

and if maybe the next day dad would soon be coming home?

No money spare to buy new clothes, or pay for those school trips.

I never could quite rationalize and try to come to grips

how, when a person says they love and care for only you,

they say the things they say and do the things they do………

I'm used to living with the pain

It hurts to know you're fine,

You were my first and only love

and now your hers, not mine.