Interrogative Intonation Poem by John Carter Brown

Interrogative intonation
Drives me up the wall,
Apart from valid questioning
It shouldn't be used at all;
I hear it almost every sentence,
It's getting worse and worse
This blight upon our language,
It really is a curse.

I'm at the stage where sometimes
I hear it when it's not there,
That near impending rise in tone
From mouths that have no care;
From where comes this insistent
Verbal impropriety
That's said to be a sign
Of rampant insecurity?

I know not, nor do really care
I just wish it's use would cease,
Then I'd regain my sanity
And get some longed for peace.

And so if you are guilty too
Of practising this tone,
This oral detestation
That's causing me to moan,
Please spare a thought for others
Who cannot stand the sound of
Interrogative intonation
By which your mouth is bound;

Give up this strange expression
So carelessly applied,
Return now to your senses
And cast the thing aside,
Because my friend this habit
Is to English no enhancer, and
If every line's a question
Then there'll never be an answer.

(Written Sept 2013)