Hm. Nes

Rookie - 82 Points (April 11,1960 / Plainview, Texas)

Jonah - Poem by Hm. Nes

The Lord God said to Jonah:
Go to Ninevah and preach!
Tell those nasty Philistines that I'm a comin' to clean their streets.
You can tell ‘em I'm fed up with their lies, and
You can tell ‘em they're all about to die!
And you're the one that's gotta tell ‘em, Jonah,
‘Cause I've decided that you're my guy
Not because you're somebody special
Or because you look good in a tan
Not because you're made of honey
Or because your mom's a fan
Not because I can't do it all by myself
Or because there's no one else to send
But just because I picked you to do it, Jonah;
Now go and tell those bums: It's the end!
It's the end of all their shenanigans
The end of all their so-called fun
I bought my ticket on the next train to Ninevah
And they've got no place to run
I plan to stay in every hostel, in every palace room and hall,
I'll bunk down at the Johnson's and spend two weekends at the mall
I'll be with you, Jonah, when you tell them that these are their final days
And it's time we left to get there, Jonah…

Jonah pretended that he didn't hear the Lord
Jumped a ship that took him far away
Far away from the nasty Philistians
And the things God had told him to say
But God was on that boat to Tarshish
And God was in that big ole fish
God was on that beach when the whale puked Jonah out
Then served him up like a dish
A dish of putrid, filthy, leftovers
That showed Ninevah just how bad God was ticked
And that God was about to rid the world of every miserable Philistine prick

But then a strange response took place that day
The day that Jonah finally started to preach:
The Ninevites suddenly repented,
Came out of hiding and took to the streets
They begged God to give them a second chance
They promised to turn from all their wicked ways
Then God agreed to let them live, and God repented himself that day

The day the Philistines became a people of God
The day that Ninevah became God's own
The day that Jonah sat down outside of town
And only thought of himself and a worm
A worm that ate the only thing Jonah cared for in all the world besides himself,
A nasty worm that came from nowhere, although it seemed to come from hell
But the Lord had sent the worm, and a nasty heat, and a scorching wind
Just to teach poor Jonah a lesson about God's heart toward stubborn men
And how God loves the smallest of things, like a plant that gives a bit of shade
Or a fat old cow, or more importantly a child that he himself has made.

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, September 1, 2012

Poem Edited: Friday, December 14, 2012

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