Joys Of Chinglish Poem by gershon hepner

“Fried enema” and “Jew’s ear juice”
are foods that tourists rarely wish to order
when someone’s cooked for them their goose
once they have stepped across the Shanghai border.
Clothes come in sizes that are great
for people who are of enormous size;
“Lard Buckets, ” fat because they ate
too much, try not to criticize,
this term, like “Fatso” is used when
a tailor tailors fatty men.

There is a urine district, too,
where signs say, “Carefully fall down and slip, ”
Take this advice when in the loo,
and don’t forget you ought to leave a tip.
“The grass is sleeping: don’t disturb, ”
protects the grass, which is “afraid of pain, ”
with signs of “Please don’t hurt me. Curb
your laughter, always trying to abstain
from it when hearing Chinglish. Cash
that they recycle makes them feel most proud,
and what they say you should not trash:
by the Politeburo that’s not allowed.