Last Night I Dreamed Poem by Ericka Johnson

Last night I dreamed
of you
How your hair would curl
around your face
and
the way your eyes would
sparkle
with a smile
all their own

Last night I dreamed
of how we would
spend our days
Strolling in the park
Your hand in mine
Buy a messy hotdog
off a truck
Because
the messy ones are
always the best

Last night I dreamed
of things you would say
Come see what I made
It's special just for you
Your my best friend
I LOVE YOU
The only three words
in the world
that could
bring such joy
to my heart

Last night I dreamed
of our future
together
All the laughs
we would share
The many tears
we would shed
together
Happy ones
that call for celebration
Tears of sorrow
that call for comfort
We'd go through all the
phases of life
side by side
Together

This morning I woke up and
REALITY hit me
like a punch in the face
No, more like a dagger
to the heart
My hand instinctively moved
To my STOMACH
Then I realized
You are no longer there
My dream faded
It had been an illusion
Of a future
That would never be

Never will I experience
The miracle
Of your birth
Never will I loose myself in the excitement
of your first steps or words
When I wander through the department stores
THERE WILL BE NO STOPPING
in the baby isle
to find
the perfect new
SOMETHING
to surprise you with

It's odd how
the three words
that made me so happy
In my dream,
have caused me
to become sick with grief
Just at the awareness
that
I will NEVER hear them followed
By your voice
whispering
Mommy