Less Sex Than Essex Poem by gershon hepner

Elizabeth said to the Earl:
“It is time that you left me to curl
with another young man, having less sex
with you, my dear robin of Essex.”

Though thirty-four years the Queen’s junior,
his power turned out to be punier
that he’d guessed, for she showed that him how older
admirers can give a cold shoulder.

she axed him despite earlier ardor
once she had sunk all the Armada;
from his shoulders removing his head,
though he’s given some to her, it’s said.

The moral is clear: Do not mess
with a Queen who’s a virgin like Bess;
serve her, if you must, as her varlet
only if you can make her your harlot.

Inspired by watching a scene in “Elizabeth I” where the Queen, played by Helen Mirren, gives the brush-off to the Earl of Essex, played by High Dancy.

6/16/09