Liz Phair And Three Beautiful Ladies Poem by Uriah Hamilton

On a warm sultry night last August,
I went to a rock concert featuring Liz Phair
And several other female artists.
A male friend of mine couldn’t go with me,
But I didn’t really mind, I love music so much
That I never want to talk or think about anything but the show.

Once I was there, though, I ran into three female friends:
Erica, Diana, and Soha!
I was as nearly as exited to see them as Liz;
If I had been a puppy,
My little tail would have been
Ecstatically wagging!

I was in the front row and toward the end of the show,
I reached my hand toward Liz Phair wanting
To slightly touch her, but she placed a guitar pick
Into my outstretched hand, I thought I might have a heart attack!
My three friends were cheering me on like perfect angels!

When the show was over, I walked out with my three friends.
The concert was promoted by a makeup company,
And they were giving out free packets of makeup.
My three friends, all beautiful ladies, took one;
Being right on their heels, I also took one.
The woman handing out the makeup gave me a peculiar look,
But I never thought about it, but Erica, being the most wonderfully
Outspoken and lovely woman, asked me almost accusingly,
“Are you going to use that, Uriah? ” Innocently I replied,
“What is it? ” Soha joined in, “Eyeliner. Can I have it? ”
I had never used eyeliner before and had no real intentions to start,
So I was quite happy to give it to Soha!

But on the way home from the show I thought,
I’m glad they weren’t giving out tampons,
I probably would have taken a handful of those, too!