this morning I awoke with that
ache... that feels like Louisiana crying.
the meter exempt from time
spoke to cobwebs and stained glass,
I felt old, and they understood
within and without, that
sad songs play to
a packed studio of shadows.
'the dust always gathers'
Its a lot like that.
Line breaks are punctuation in poetry, Luis. And frankly, poetry is art. It has no boundaries nor lines to color within. I think that what you mean to say is that you desire more punctuation in your own art work. Which is cool.. But this poem is beautiful in its very unique way. I'm wondering if you were able to get past the things you feel are structural framework flaws enough to find the absolute beauty in this poem? I mean, 'like Louisiana crying....' Did that line touch you in any way? Mark Twain once said 'It is a gratification to me that I do not understand art..... Because people who do understand art find nothing but blemishes in pictures...'
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A sad and moving poem. Cries goes out for stability. Good.