Makes Me Blue Poem by Cherie Mort

I'm walking down the street when I run into you
I ask you how you are, ''And how's the missus? ''
You hesitate, almost wincing, replying, ''We, uh, actually got divorced''
I freeze
My blood congeals
I slowly start to shatter from the inside out
I stutter, ''Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know''
Anxiety starts putting pressure on me,
Forcing me to speak and stutter out my words like they're concrete blocks
My eyes start tearing up as I say, ''That's a shame. You two seemed so happy together.''
You start to notice I'm not okay as I wince and rub my eyes
I brush it off by saying it's nothing,
That my eyes are dry and I should get going to put some eye drops in them
I tell you to have a good day, maybe see you around as I walk away briskly
Before, when you had exchanged vows with her, I had managed to control myself, to tell myself that I must not falter, to let you be
I had to love in silence
I had to contain and restrict myself from you
But now you are free
And I am not

What a shame
What a tragedy
He doesn't even compare
What's a rock to a bright star any day?
Invisible
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I come home to him fuming
Asking where I've been
Roaring, shouting, screaming
But never hitting me
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At his funeral you stand next to me to offer your condolences
I state that I'm almost glad it's over now
You look quizzically for an explanation
''Some people are passionately violent, and some are violently passionate, '' I explain, still staring at the fresh mound of dirt before me
''Ours was more like the second''
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I recalled one day when I'd told him I didn't want to have kids with him
He got angry like he did, then asked me why I didn't just leave
''I can't, '' I simply stated. ''We need each other too much.''
I was violently in love with him, but passionate about you
He loved me violently, aggressively, scared that I would just up and leave him one day as so many did
They left him broken
I comforted him while he yelled
Didn't even mind the yelling
It let him know that I cared
Only when I started yelling back would he ever calm down, get fearful eyes, and beg me not to leave

We were a tragic lot, the two of us
Never happy
I could've left him, said I was done with the yelling, tired of his mercurial attitude
But what good would it have done?
It wouldn't have given me a chance with you,
And I'd still be blue
It's always the romantic in me that makes me blue
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We finally take tender steps, going out on a fragile limb
I'm quiet as a small bird in your palm, fearfully hoping to please
I'm like him in his worst moments
Scared, fearful even, and exhausted from keeping up the charade
Slowly, we warm up to each other like two cold hands at a fireplace
I wonder what we'll make of it now?