Makes The Outside World Disappear Poem by Selina Gurgacz

Phones on,
Plug headphones in,
Put them in my ears
And turn on the music.
Makes the outside world disappear,
To an extent.
Get on the train,
Sit down,
And try to relax,
Trying to block out the many noises
That are surrounding me.
The noises of the train moving forward,
And stopping at each station,
Letting people off,
And letting people on,
Some who are on mobile phones,
Some who are listening to music,
Some reading,
And some who are doing none of those things,
Just sit down,
Thinking,
Listening to everything that is going on around them.

I don't think that I could do that,
I know that I couldn't do that.
I tried it once,
Only an accident that I did,
As I forgot my headphones one day.
It was very.....
Interesting.
Hearing the sounds of people,
People who are happy,
Happy,
Happy.
It was killing me,
In a way.
I couldn't take it,
Seeing people who look as though they don't care,
Care about those that walk around,
Like me,
That aren't happy.

So now,
I always have to have my music on.
Always.
Otherwise it's unbearable.
It really is.

I get off the train,
Touch off with my go card,
Walk up the stairs and down the ramp.
I wait for the Uni shuttle bus,
Music still playing,
In my ears,
So I can still block out the world.
I get on the bus and the rest is like a haze,
Just walking around like a zombie.
Still communicating with others,
But it's like I'm not completely there,
Like most of me is somewhere else.

On the way home,
Same thing,
Phones on,
Plug headphones in,
Put them in my ears
And turn on the music.
Makes the outside world disappear,
To an extent.
I stay in my own little bubble,
Listening to my music,
Blocking out the world,
Because a majority of people in that world,
Wouldn't care if I was gone.
A majority of people in that world,
Wouldn't care if I disappeared.
A majority of people in that world,
Wouldn't care that I'm struggling.
A majority of people in that world,
Wouldn't care.
They just wouldn't care.
They wouldn't care at all.
Not at all.
So I stay in my little bubble,
Listening to music,
And blocking out the rest of the world.

That world.

(c) 3rd November 2010