Maladjusted Poem by Ibn Ali

I feel my soul is rusty
I've been somewhat down and maladjusted
If words were water then I've left my mouth running 
My whole life is this
Make me a shirt that says 'here we go again'
I'll make it my constant
Almost abandoned thoughts of change 
I'm stuck
How is it I make them laugh so hard when I'm depressed
How is it that I make them smile but I can't smile myself
You can't give what you don't possess
Are they sincere
Is it mine their joy reflects
Am I the subject or affect
It hurts
If we didn't scar we'd never learn
If we felt no pain we'd die without defence 
It tells us to resist