Masterminds Need Not Apply Episode Ix Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Forrest V. Frankenstein Jr. did more than a Monster Mash,
He was drunk when he attempted to stab deputies using more than slash,
When Forrest was subdued and taken into a squad car,
Forrest bashed his forehead against the car door which eventually made a scar,
Forrest has a momento of this occasion-a Frankenstein monster gash.

Elizabeth Athenia Progris gave birth to a bag of Xanax,
This 'dancer-housewife', by the day she cared for her home,
by night she did undulating dance moves that would simulate sex acts,
She was arrested and told to take a shower,
The bag of Xanax fell down to the ground from her private parts;
It was not quite an hour,
Her sound judgment was lax.

Sean Kelly,40, was supposed to have an incontinent problem that got him arrested on charges of fraud,
He hired two women too change his diapers; (between 2008-9) , he could've been on 'Maude'.
He didn't pay the care workers their wage,
He thought he was playing on some geriatric stage,
Sean's reasoning, by his admission, was flawed.

Donald Shaun Black had a distinctive tattoo on his right cheek,
His legal problems would be bleak,
Donald was quickly identified by his alleged assailant,
Donald's tattoo of the University of North Carolina,
possibly Donald was puffing an inhalant,
A good lawyer should Donald seek.

Matthew O. Foote,25, did order up one loaded dog, for his delight
A 7-year-old dachshund Chihuahua mix was possessed by the devil, the family's dog named Sasha, was clear in his sight.
He must've thought he was about to save the world which was at best personal
Foote explained to investigators that he'd spent the weekend in Louisiana,
where he met a lot of 'evil people, ' according to the Pensacola News Journal.
Matthew killed, skinned and burnt the body of Sasha in a hole in the ground to be out of sight.

Maria Elizabeth Chrysson,29, is 'Botox Bandit' in Miami,
She was bouncing checks for her cosmetic work it was plain to see,
Her ever ending to enhance her look,
She was charged with fraud by the book, She'll be able to get her make up on in jail easily.

Bernadette Music wasn't singing a love song,
When she called 9-1-1 multiple times for someone for her to belong,
She wanted for the operators to find her date,
Perhaps for companionship if not to mate,
This is all the way wrong!
It must've been a bloody sight
John Olele bit off his roommate's nose in a fight.
The 30-year-old Idaho resident has been charged with mayhem
a crime punishable by of 14 years behind bars; the maximum,
Where he can ponder his actions both day and night.

Jason Anthony Brown wanted some paste to eat,
So he met and robbed a woman whom he wanted to meet,
Jason wasn't confused when,
He bought a meal with stolen money, from the Olive Garden,
I am afraid that was his last good meal for awhile, jail food is tough to beat.

Michael Dupree, a convicted burglar and coke user who is serving a 12 year prison term, , --has filed a lawsuit against three men,
The three had taken him down before his arrest back when,
Dupree says he is a victim of a rough citizen arrest,
That should put the court to a test. Where will justice lead, whether he is to lose or win.

George Albert Horn used a crucifix to steal donations to light a votive candle,
'Thou Shall Not Steal' sayeth the Lord, it was more than he could handle.
George held the image of Jesus Christ,
When he attempted this heist,
What will be the afterlife for this vandal?

Kalid Mansour is one-legged man who jumped out of his wheel chair,
To rob a couple on East Sixth Street, he was handicapped, he didn't care,
He hit the woman in the face, next the man in the face,
He stole the man's wallet a tried to steal her purse without a trace,
Kalid hopped onto his wheel chair and attempted to get away,
-but security guards interrupted this criminal affair.

Terrance Mitchell was in the market for hot cameras so to speak,
He was video stealing cameras from a home improvement store over the past week.
Was it a Home Depot or was it a Lowes,
Who really cares if anyone knows,
His legal consequences could be bleak.

Levi Detweiler, a 17-year-old Amish youth, is accused of leading police on a low-speed one-mile chase,
It must've been hard for a squad car to be follow him at a snail's pace,
Levi did not pull over when he was requested,
Later on he was found to be drunk when he was tested,
. He was charged with possession of alcohol and 'overdriving an animal, '
-- he should beg forgiveness by God's good grace.

9-3-10