Me. Poem by black heart

People seem to be getting more annoying as the days go by. I wish they would all just shut up and leave me alone because I don't care about what they have to say anymore. Why should I care they never listen to me when I'm trying to say something. So why waste my time on people who don't care about me, I much rather be alone in my room. At least when I'm alone there's no one there to tell that everything I'm doing is wrong, and that I'm useless and worthless. Why do the people that I care for so deeply feel the need to make me feel worse about myself? Can't they see that I already hate myself? Can't they see I'm already broken inside, and that I'm no longer the girl I was before? No they can't because that would be asking to much of them. That would be asking them to step out of their happy lives of ignoring my existence and into my head, into the little world where I escape them all. But no need for anyone to worry, not that anyone would, I won't bother anyone with my problems or my fears I'll just keep it all inside me. I'll just hurt in silence of my world. At least in my world no one is around to see who I really am, they only see what I let them see which is nothing more than a disguise. A disguise that slowly seems to be cracking, and one day it will be nothing more than dust. That will be the day when people see the actual me, the me that I've kept hidden in the deepest and darkest shadows, the me that has been hurt so many times before. I wonder what people will think when that day comes. Will they see me with pity? Will they see me with disgust? Or will they just turn the other way and keep living their happy lives still ignoring me? Anything they choose won't matter to me because I will never let this day happen, I rather leave than to let people see me in a vulnerable state of being, I rather go away than to see the disgust in people's eyes when they look my way, and I rather run away than to rebuild my disguise and have to hide behind it again. At least when I'm gone I won't have to be around knowing that I'm a disappointment to the ones I love, I won't have to go around making people believe that I'm happy when I really feel like giving up, and I won't have to go around pretending to be someone I'm not, even when I really wish I could be that happy person everyone sees. At least in my absence everyone will move on and I will finally be free to be me.