If there's a hell then I am doomed and for hell I am heading
For I drove my car when I was drunk from Connie Tarrant's wedding,
I drove my car when I was drunk and lived to tell the story
Though I don't find no pride in that and that won't bring me glory.
Brian Sullivan in front passenger seat he wore the look of worry
As one mile west of Barraduff I swerved clear of a lorry
He shouted 'watch you driving man' and what's the point in hurry
And we'll reach Millstreet in time enough and better late than sorry.
But that apart we had good day we laughed drank and made merry
At Connie's wedding to Noreen in Killarney County Kerry,
The rock and roll the twist and shout, the reels and siege of Ennis,
The paddy and the brandy and the smithwicks and the guinness.
Curly haired Tadgh Sullivan from Kiskeam and Johnny Fox O Connor
And by four o clock the liquor told Jim Greaney seemed a gonner
And Brian Sullivan was talking much of Clint Eastwood and soccer
And I not one to handle drink felt like one off his rocker.
And Johnny Sheehan talking of gaelic football and his times
with Slanan Rovers,
A football club founded by Neil Lehane in happy days since over
From Cloghoula close to Millstreet Town and a team we used to follow
When they were playing in tournaments in parks throughout Duhallow.
And Brendan Tarrant he was there Connie's best man and brother
And Con's wife Noreen from Boherbue and her brothers sister and mother
And many of Jack Tarrant's descendants there and they were there in plenty
And though I felt far too drunk to count there must have been more than twenty.
Yes I'll remember for long years my last trip into Kerry
To Connie Tarrant's wedding where we laughed drank and made merry
But I've learnt one lesson from this a lesson in safe living
Get into the back seat when drunk and let others do the driving.
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