Mersey Maggie Was Navigable By Oceangoing Vessels Poem by Ted Sheridan

Behind the double door’s Coat of Arms there is a light which separates the men
From the boys and there in the midst of all which is questionable stands Maggie
With her stained knickers down around her ankles and her nose ring glistening
Like a gold doubloon on a sandy shore or a tooth in old Captain Jacks head
She shouts for the bartender to bring her another pint of ale but the bartenders deaf
And even if he could hear the screeching shrew he would surely ignore her
In much the same way her stomach muscles ignore the need for her cave to air
The deposits of her last paying customer who by now is home with his lovely wife
And does not yet realize the pain he has ingested as it takes awhile to fester
Before it can truly make a man regret where he laid his philandering unfaithful heads
Old Maggie has seen better days when depressed pounds weren’t just something
She carried on her matronly hips and she could pass through any door she wished
Without first turning sideways or apologizing for her furry friend between her knees
Qualifying the edacious nature of the beast who ate the beast and slayer of the dragon
Alas, poor Maggie is looked upon today as nothing but a common whore….
But a fine, fine woman was she back in the day when men were really men….

2007 © T Sheridan