Mirror Mirror On The Wall...2 Poem by Shaun Cronick

Mirror mirror on the wall.
Who's the wickedest of them all?
And then there was no long pregnant pause.
For the mirror instantly replied...
Don't get me started on that one,
For Christ's sake!
I've got a list as long as your bloody arm.
For starters,
Publican's who chuck you out of their pub,
Simply for singing in welsh.
Publican's who chuck you out of their pub,
For not singing in welsh.
The extremely bad poets on PoemHunter,
Who sausage factory bad odour poems.
Especially that welsh one.
Politicians who kiss babies,
Whenever the press are about.
Those crazy maniac's in their cars,
Driving through puddles targeting pedestrians.
Those tossers in restaurants who unscrew,
The tops of salt cellars,
Left for poor schmucks.
That guy with the leaf blower,
Who's always out on a mini hurricane day.
If he had a brain he'd be dangerous,
Those half human half traffic wardens,
Who give you a ticket,
While you parked outside a charity shop,
Delivering a donation.
Oh! And while I'm at it,
How about giving me a polish once and while,
I look as dirty and rough as a badger's arse...

And for the next 48 hours,
The mirror's tirade continued unabated.