Mistresses Poem by gershon hepner

Tell your mistresses you love them;
that’s the etiquette to which you ought to stick,
and do not always lie above them.
Give them a choice, but if you find they always pick
positions that appear to put
them in the power seat, make sure they know that you’re
the master when they are on top.
Don’t let them dominate you or become cocksure,
or use your credit card to shop,
and make sure that they never meet your wife until
you’ve told her the affair has ended.
By following these rules you’ll generate good will,
and they won’t show that they’re offended,
because you’ve been a stickler for the etiquette
requiring that you tell them you
love them, and only them, and would be most upset
if they believed this was not true.

Inspired by a line in Jean Anouilh’s The Awakening, performed at The Noise Within in Glendale. A Count has a wife who tolerates his mistresses but takes cunning steps to make sure that he does not fall in love with a young girl who is virginally naïve. One of the characters, I am not sure which, declares, “Tell all your mistresses you love them, be a stickler for such etiquette.”

5/13/08