Mugabe On The Box Poem by Peter J White

Greetings my people, I’m happy to say
On this my Zimbabwe’s National Day,
Though we have no rocket to send to the moon,
Economic recession will end very soon.
National retrenchment will be postponed,
Since we paid one per cent of the cash we were loaned.
Indeed, international merchant banks,
(Colonial monsters who don’t deserve thanks)
May agree to lend us a billion more -
No strings attached as you know, I’m sure.”

Praise singers:
Upresident, Upresident
Phamberi ne Comrade President!
Our destiny is in his care,
So we’ll hang his picture everywhere.

“Malevolent traitors I shall not name
Have conspired in secret to give me the blame
For famine and consequence
Of drought. But this doesn’t make sense!
We were forced to sell the grain that was stored
By expenses of many state visits abroad,
And cases of cholera have been halved,
(Not counting the twenty five thousand who starved) ,
We’ve done all we can and continue to strive
To keep our party supporters alive.”

Praise singers:
Upresident, Upresident
Phamberi ne Comrade President!
When famine laid our country low
Four thousand farmers had to go

“Not least tonight I feel bound to reprove
Those absurd, ill advised university youths.
There are many who say new life would be born,
If I would allow constitution reform
And freedom to criticise national events!
What! Can we in our sovereignty listen to students?
By the mandate they’re given my people succeed,
Not the other way round, as I’m sure it’s agreed.
Their highest intent by all possible means
Is to bring into being their government’s dreams.”

Praise singers:
Upresident, Upresident
Phamberi ne Comrade President!
The many who vote have much to say,
But the few who count will win the day.

“Now I regret I have very grave news,
As MDC activists try to confuse
And fill your minds with objective reports!
Rest assured they’ll be charged in Zimbabwean courts;
Fairly tried then locked up for a very long time,
Even if found not guilty of crime.
Your hope is the confidence placed in me
And my wisdom of nineteen eighty three.
What more could loyal Zimbabweans need
Than the one party state which I then decreed? ”

Praise singers:
Upresident, Upresident
Siyabonga Zimbabwean President
Our teacher, preacher, philosopher, sage,
His name is on every newspaper page.
Remember his picture on the wall
Keeps watch over you!
Goodnight to you all.