My Cat's A Dog - Poem by Linda Hepner
My cat's a dog so we believe
he talks and almost growls
whenever he thinks 'breakfast time! '
or needs to ope his bowels
and can't get in his litter room
so does it on the rug
at which I shout and throw him out
and won't give him a hug.
He only wants to be alone
with me, his only mum
but has step aside and hide
from kids he thinks are dumb,
because they chase him up and down
and want to pull his tail
which is no fun for feline folk
or any macho male.
He eats a lot but only beef
And follows me around,
He guards me fiercely like a dog
And won't sleep on the ground;
He curls up on my bed at night
On watch till four o'clock
But when it's dawn he knows it's time,
And meows, as he can't knock.
He will not rest until I moan
Ok Ok, I'm up!
Then he stops calling as he knows
I have to find my cup,
My glasses, slippers and my phone,
But if I leave behind
A single item, he sits down
And waits. A magic mind!
How does he know I'm going back
Upstairs to find my things?
How is it if we mention 'cat'
He meows as if he sings?
He's found an attic stuffed with junk
So low we have to stoop,
And there he stays, his eyes ablaze,
Safe in his chicken coop.
Like other cats, he likes to jump
On tables and sit down
Upon my newspaper or plate
Ignoring when I frown;
He saves me from bad news and toast
And likes to toss my pills
Onto the floor and kick them round
The house. These are his skills.
I could go on and on about
My handsome six-toed cat
Who loves me so that I'm his pal
And when we have a spat
As when he bites but just to play
Reverting to the wild,
He knows I love him tenderly:
He is my youngest child.
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