Linda Hepner

Veteran Poet - 1,186 Points (London)

Damp My Desire? - Poem by Linda Hepner

Are you my vampire? That is what he said.
I’ll just describe it. I was on my bed
Soaking the sun and reading ‘Life and Fate’
Vasili Grossman wrote app. ’38,
Pondering the passing of the U
SSR, how the century flew,
In half of which we met and wooed and wed
When blinkeye later there were no more red
Flags or skies or eyes but only bank
Balances to crush us like a tank,
When, as I said, I pondered on the blood
Shed by the Bolshs and Mensheviks in mud
Of little villages along the Volga
Where tractored Igor lost his kerchiefed Olga
Who ran off with her Ivan, workers’ chief,
Whose speeches stirred her heart and brought to grief
The local branch of Solidarity
Doomed by the tractor driver’s clarity
About the future of dear Mother Russia
Seeing it was no better off than Prussia
And begging Comrade Olga to defect
Before their Cherry Orchards were all wrecked -
But she refused as Ivan won her heart
Until he in Siberia was parked
In retribution for his change of mind -
Bolshevik, Menshevik, Whites and Reds behind
The plots to overthrow first one regime
And then the other, flowing like a stream
Of blood until along came Uncle Joe
Whose name is one that every child would know
Because his beaming smile from every wall
Promised abundance if you didn’t call
His bluff, and death if you but listened to
The Voice of America or if a Jew
Especially a doctor you didn’t think
The banging on the door at night might shrink
Your family no less than Hitler’s laws
Depleting millions with his bloody paws….
Where was I, oh that’s right, upon my bed
Bathed in the setting sun and nicely fed
With challa, Borsht, potatoes, sour cream
Red apples, paprika on carp or bream,
Fuzzily fading in my sunset dream
When in he bursts, a kettle full of steam
With the most extraordinary question
Are you my vampire? Well, that ruined digestion
Being accused of sucking on his neck,
As if I were some Transylvanian Czech
And had depleted him of vital
Essences for which there is a title
I’m too much of a prude to mention here,
But say it’s like the froth upon a beer,
I’ll never figure out, how long my life,
What made him say that to his only wife!

A riddle by LRH

Comments about Damp My Desire? by Linda Hepner

  • Daniel Brick (9/11/2016 8:49:00 PM)

    WOW! WOW! Your poem passes what an Irish friend (and PH poet) calls the Double WOW! Test for a poem. I am amazed at your sheer verbal virtuosity in this poem (that's one virtue of the poem) and the way you controlled that flow of language, rather than being overwhelmed by your own verbal risk taking. No, you juggled skillfully (what a bland word for your performance) at least four subjects: Reading the Soviet Socialist Realist novel which you summarize with great wit as a narrative of the one goddam thing after another! -type; your quiet peaceful almost languorous solitude; the friend with the bizarre vampire question, but he got my attention too; and your poetic voice which holds it all together even though the abundance of words, images, plots, wonders and surprises are seeping through the seams. What a liberating experience this poem must have been to write, because it was a liberating experience to read! ! (Report)Reply

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  • Edward Kofi Louis (2/3/2016 12:54:00 PM)

    Great work with the muse of the Lifestyle of mankind. Thanks for sharing. (Report)Reply

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  • (5/14/2007 1:02:00 PM)

    My third visit here, Linda, and I'm laughing (and marveling) just as much as I did the first time round ('...well that ruined digestion...' - ya ha ha!) . Love, Gina. (Report)Reply

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  • (1/8/2007 5:26:00 AM)

    Linda, tremendous energy! I enjoyed the driving pace and structure. I hope your partner isn't taking you for a sucker!
    Thanks & have a great 2007

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  • (10/25/2006 4:13:00 AM)

    Both clever and funny - (I suppose that means very well written!)

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  • (4/20/2006 2:21:00 PM)

    Coming back to this one today, Lind, and it's given me a much needed energy boost. And like Raynette, the final few lines really got me giggling.

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  • (3/17/2006 9:34:00 AM)

    From the ridiculous to the sublime, Linda. This is a fascinating poem....and made me laugh at the end. That is, after all, the only thing one can do when faced with such a question. Good poem, my friend.


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  • (3/17/2006 4:29:00 AM)

    I love it when a poem stuns me speechless. GRAND writing. Susie. (Report)Reply

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  • (3/17/2006 3:46:00 AM)

    I don't understand everything you say here, Lind, but that hasn't stopped me enjoying it. A power write. Warm regards, Gina. (Report)Reply

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  • (3/17/2006 1:45:00 AM)

    Wonderful poem. I wonder who the vampire was? Anyone I know?



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Poem Submitted: Thursday, March 16, 2006

Poem Edited: Saturday, March 18, 2006

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