My Fear Poem by victoria martinez

Make me a promise you can’t keep
I’m the kind of girl that will listen to any lie
And I’ll pretend it came true till the day I die
I am insecure about my existence
And your touch makes me feel real
I am so afraid of being alone
That I’ll be beaten just not have to face my fear
I’ve been pushed down, stepped on, hurt
And the look you give me is emotionless
You want so much more
I’ve never been one to plead but, you want me on my knees
And to satisfy you I will fulfill you childish needs
To never be left alone I will become weak
To hold your hand, to be you one and only
But, this bed is used for more than just me
I was taught to bit my tongue
I’ve actually made it bleed
I was taught to hang my head
As if I were less of a person
Like you the “man” own me
I have seen lovely women ripped apart
Shattered face but, it matches their heart
I don’t have courage I don’t ask for anything
I am the lost soul but, next to you I’m nothing
I have never been beautiful it’s just a word,
Used to once describe me
When I’m on the floor crying
What do you really see?
Do you see a woman or,
Do you even see me as a human being?
You can’t ever say sorry
I hate when you don’t say what you mean
You can’t ever apologize because in the end it just me
I’ll always be less its just the way it’s destined to be
I will always be looked down upon
Never looked at
I am really alone
But, without you there really would have never been
My broken body
Never would have been a tearful face
Never would have been this broken…
Once “beautiful” sad disgrace
So I owe you everything that caused me my deep rooted pain
But, fear won’t let me ever break way.