My First Rub [1920 Slang] Poem by R.K. Cowles

Am a milque toast regarding these high school rubs

Aint interested in congregating with a group of prom trotters

Yet my baby vamp is intrigued in attending tonights dance

She's this hoofer requiring me, her gigilo to escort her there

I carry a torch for her, so I have no choice

But to allow her to be my sheba for tonight

I'm not ducky on doll up too often

Yet I'd like to look spiffy for my baby vamp

So my glad rags are required

This morn before I blew for school

I layed out my best rags

Early I piped the boiler, it required some fuel

I'm down to my last fin

I won't be compensated with added kale for 2 weeks

I plan to leave the stuff at home

Although hadn't had corn nor brown plaid in a while

I've heard at the last rub

A snitch informed on some nose candy being passed around

The elephant ears were called in

Several students were copped and sent to the cooler

Non was required to crush out, since their folks bailed them out of the caboose

Not sure this evening will be cat's whiskers

Not really interested in these school functions

Later after school, will sneak a reefer with my pal

From where I cheese it

So I'll be relaxed for the rub

My date's dad is a blue nose

Need to be on time and be dolled up

Can't allow him to assume I'm some palooka

Once arrived several Auburns, Allens and broken down Model Ts

Had several wisecracks wriiten on them

Like 'Won't give up, it'll run', This side up'

'This way out', 'Standing room only', 'Open all night'

And next to a couple of radiators

'Old faithful spouts every 5 minutes'

That's screwy to be adding that on these hay burners

Their conks are all wet I tell my date

Once inside I look for the horn

To dropp the dime to my folks that I've arrived

The hello girl that assisted me had a sexy voice

Once in the gymnasium

I've noticed we've arrived too early

Because dust was happening

I could see several high hats about

Not surprised, they attend most school functions

A few wet blankets in the back

Some chippies, berries and few other crowds

I think it'll be a waste a time for the pushovers and the dumb doras

I see that gang Sock Dollagers are here

Then the debs were in their knee high length skirts and dropped waist

Were gathered around the flaming youths

Then I piped a few lookers gathered around this ethel

My sheba for the evening I lead to the refreshments

I pipe several hip flasks exposed at the fefreshments

But none have been detected by the fire extinguishers

Several students has two instead of one

I on the other hand won't dip the bill, this evening

And wind up a boozehound, it's too risky

I wonder if it'll be cash or check with this baby vamp I'm with

Those with two flasks plan to be out on the roof

Then I wonder why this nifty pill with too many marbles around her neck

Was with this mug with the ugly map

His beezer was enormous, you should have seen his alderman

All the high hats only could ask me 'Where did you get those rags'

'You out gooseberry lay again in the dives'

The hoofers in the gymnasium seems to be smudgers

Appears out of place with the upbeat rythme

I eventually lost my date, So I sneezed the time to puff the last of the reefer

I snuck into the teacher's lounge

There was a petting party, four couples were pitching wooing

One on the davenport

Another one on the chairs

One in the corner

Another in a wardrobe with both doors off their hinges

They ought to be careful, may get knocked up

Went outside, there were four popular gals, asking to butt them

I only had was the reefer, I lit it up and passed it around

I seem to be sitting pretty

I thought I'd ask for a dance

Although I knew I was tooting the wrong ringers

We bumped guns for ten minutes, then they gave me the icy mitt

Then a couple of fellas crashed my little party with these four fine gals

They must have been grangy having these four vamps to myself

I wanted them to go chase themselves

I came behind the 8-ball when a pill came out

To put the screws on us regarding we were outside

I arrived back to the gymnasium to find my date spitting with this killjoy

I know this fella is full of applesauce

Becuse this heel alwys stringing to anyone who'll listen

Then I heard bronx cheers towards heelers hoofing the Lindy Hop

Then this oliver twist popped onto the floor

And he showed them how to dance

When the trio jammed the Charleston

The crowd snaps a cap 'Get hot! Get hot! '

He made it look eggs in the coffee

Then another jazz band took the stage

They begin to play the torch song 'Down Hearted Blues'

With a canary singing

Most of the rub attendees took the floor

The broads and their suitors began to smudge together

My date and I decided to 23 skidoo after the song

We became too grummy over these prom trotters