My Heart Breaks For The Broken Soul Poem by Courtney Caine

my heart breaks for the broken soul
all the words don't help you now
they lose there meaning when you say them to much
each time I mean them but there lost
I put everyone before my self
each day I help someone
each day to think to myself
how can I help someone
when I cant help myself
Am lost and I know it
but it doesn't matter
they will always come first
but then the day comes
where I cant help
cant think of anything to say
I cant help them
and it slowly kills me
I want nothing more then to help
those who I love
with each breath I break
with each word they say I panic
theres nothing you can say now
nothing I can do to stop them
each day it eats at me
I cant stop it
with each bite it takes
the bitterness grows
with each word
I go a little more insane
but you hide it so well
behind that mask I made long ago
with the fake smile
that everyone believes
they don't see the madness growing
I didn't see this coming
I have being fighting your demons for so long
I never though that they would win
the best part no one see it
they still think am the nice caring person
I have them thinking
they would never believe the thoughts going through my head
everything is falling apart
am going insane
nothing can help me now
the sick though that follow through my mind
the need to have what what want the most
but the need is the very thing to give me life
in that second a murder was born
time goes by and everything gets worse
I try to stop myself
I know I would never kill
but that one need keeps coming back
nothing I do or say stops the need
I want it you need it so bad I scare myself
nothing is going to be the same
i start thinking about all the time i was sane
rocking myself trying to make everything better
i need everything to be so much better
cant leave my room
to scared of whats outside what i will do
no one see this my prefect mask
hides it all no one will see it
put the smile up
let them believe what they want
they fool them self
i see it now the truth
i didn't see it before
but now your eyes are open wide
i look at them and think
how cant they be so stupid
how can they not see what i see
why cant they see the truth
why must i always be alone
i feel a tear slid down my cheek
i reach up and feel the wetness
left by the tear
what is this
i don't understand
this can not be tears
what do i have to cry for
but i know where they come from
the broken lil girl wants out
she scared of the dark that i have kept her in for so long
its time to let her go
it time for i to grow into a new person
it time to move on
let her live she is ready for the life i never let her have
its time let everything go
the hurt the pain that i have held in for so long
it a new day
it a new start
they are gone they cant hurt me anymore
some one is ready to save me
just take my hand
they have been waiting for you for so long
this is my time
take the chance everything will be better
listen to there words
trust me i will always be here for you
i take there hand and thats when i know
everything will be ok again.