My Mind Is Roaming, Restless, Alone, Yet Your Voice Remembered Such Comfort Brings Poem by Dennis Ryan

Wednesday afternoon, February 8, 2023; Monday morning, February 13, 2023; Wednesday morning, February 22, 2023

'It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
‘Cause he knows that it's me they're comin' to see
To forget about life for a while...'
—Billy Joel, 'Piano Man'

My mind is roaming, restless, alone.
This is what I recall: your foot trailing water
from a shallow fountain's pool; a wedding
put on hold in the Hampton's; you breaking
down beside the sea, the greenish waves
slapping the shoreline in late May; before
the murder, his body found under a snow-covered
footbridge in Central Park, on the snow-covered
pathway. Never fear. Never fear. Then Nicole
Kidman's face as the orchestra plays violas and violins,
these images merging with those of Natalie Merchant
on vocals, singing 'Because The Night', and those
four women in 10,000 Maniacs playing viola, violin
and piano in unison, so intricately, skillfully that it
takes your breath away. (That virtuoso performance
recorded for posterity, accessed daily on You Tube.)
The experience leaves me... The present, present
continuous and present perfect tenses are not devoid
of hope. The music of the moment, you, salve my
soul, are my momentary stay... Where do I find you?
In memory. There. In feeling. There. In sound, sounds
that show me I am not alone. You, yours, the sound of
your voice remembered—wherever you happen to be...
'One thing I'm trying to do as an artist is to comfort people.
To show them they're not alone.' Being left alone, neglected,
my worst fear—having to endure boredom, this suffering
without you.