My Mp's A Banker Poem by Gil Tee

(With apologies to Lonnie Donegan & co.)

Now here's a little Tory
With his Lab and Lib-Dem mates,
Who work their cotton socks off
In Parliament’s debates.
Some people make a fortune,
Others earn a mint;
My MP don't earn much
And yet he’s rollin’ in’t.

Oh, my MP's a banker,
He's worth a million quid;
He says that he is honourable
But who's he trying to kid?
He looks a proper dandy
In his pinstripe suit an' all,
But now the truth is out he could
Be headin' for a fall.

Some folks are getting restive
Cuz they treat us like fools,
Although our MPs tell us
It's all within the rules.
One constituent got nasty
And to his MP wrote,
Then went round to his second home
And pushed him in the moat.

Oh, my MP's a banker
He's got a flippin' cheek;
He uses public money
To buy himself antiques...

Though my MP’s a banker,
He hasn’t got a clue
About the world economy
Or what we’re goin’ to do.
We said “Ere! Hang on half a mo,
What’s happened to our jobs? ”
He said “Don’t worry about that,
I’ve made a good few bob”.

Oh, my MP's a banker,
He's worth a million quid,
But says he's on the breadline
Just like his wife and kids...

One day whilst out in Surrey
He bought a trouser press;
He said 'It's rather dear, but
Someone else will pay, I guess.'
He knows that, as an MP,
He has to be prepared
To serve his country selflessly -
So no expense is spared.

Oh, my MP’s a banker
He’s got a flippin’ cheek,
His daily expense claim’s worth more
Than I get paid a week...

He found a house for sale one day
Just outside Boreham Wood;
He said 'I'd like to buy it,
I only wish I could.'
The fees office advised him
To flip his mortgage claim -
And now he lives in luxury,
Ain't that a flippin' shame?

Oh, my MP's a banker,
He's worth a million quid;
He says that he is honourable
But who's he trying to kid?
Next time you meet a banker
Who’s also an MP,
Just tell him he’s a ****
And kick his **** for me.