My Own Poem by Linda Engwall

I am compelled to try
Make some sense of it
Attempt to get out of the way
To understand what keeps happening

Why I don’t ever seem to know
How any of this is my life
Is a puzzle to me
I thought
Or perhaps I hoped I would
Get it all
By now in my later years

Still
Isn’t it all supposed to get easier?
I read about all this wisdom that
Is suppose to come to you as I grow older

But it hasn’t happened
I am still floundering
Day to day
Moment to moment

I climbed the latter of progression
All that was expected of me I fulfilled
Got married, had my children
But then if fell apart somewhere

It all seemed better on paper
Than in reality

Okay but I am a big girl and I can roll
With the punches
But still
Somewhere along the way
I lost it

My own identity,
My own vision,
My own life,
My own voice,
My own dream