My Own Satan Lies Within Me Poem by Mohammad Younus

My own Satan lies within me,
a hidden enemy.
It opposes my heart's true whispers,
A cunning friend, sure and certain,
The real foe, casting dark shadows.
With dirty tricks, he strikes my heart,
disguised as divine counsel,
Trying to leave me bound.

I say,
'God loves me, it will be alright, '
But my Satan softly replies,
'It's just an illusion.
Stop loving Him,
and you'll see a fight.
He'll take you to task,
put you to shame.'
My heart throbs violently
with doubt and delusion,
Caused by my inner Satan.
Nothing is left of my belief
in God's unconditional love.

My Satan returns, scoffing,
'You deserve it.'
I get scrubs and wounds,
and start apologizing, not to God,
but to my Satan.
My inner Satan consoles me,
a false savior, a fake Guru.
Then I come to my senses—
just fantasizing, I had a terrible dream.

I realize no one is my Satan within,
but me, delusioned and disillusioned!
I scream for following
my Satan, my nafs,
always hoodwinking me,
trapping me in his snares.
My Satan, my nafs, never knew
the more he tried to break me,
the higher I flew from his hold,
to sit with my true self.

My rabid nafs, I turned him to Islam,
making him a submissive servant,
to my true self.
God loves me too much to let me kill
my enemy that way.
He said Shahadah, became Muslim,
and petitioned me to set him free.
Finally, my heart agreed,
and I cut the noose
of my Muslim Nafs

MyKoul