My Retirement Poem by suja nair

It's closing down, It's nearing,
My last day at office is just round the corner peeping at me,
Am i feeling sad, am i feeling happy.......totally confused
Is it the beginning of another tenure, another phase of life,

I am advised for free....just enjoy the comming days, just do what you always wanted to do, just live for your self atleast now.
Life is to be enjoyed, age is only a number, one is always young at heart always.

But i ask myself....many thoughts go through my mind......many faces pass in front of me......it's not easy, I have not lived for myself, do i want to live for myself, or actually was i living for myself......or maybe.........

The idea of doing something after retirement is to be thought of....or should I be really doing something........
I ask myself is this what life is
Was i born for this, was this the purpose of my life, ., ......

This was not what I wanted
But I was forced to stick on
As days went by my job was my bread and butter
There came a time when i wanted to just quit leave everything
But then it's not easy......., I just recollect my first day....

Today i feel not sad not happy but i want to just go on.....
A weird feeling of being happy and being sad...... I have my table my chair my work it's only mine, today, tomorrow it's someone else's
Time..........time will go on and on and on.........
Everything mine will not be mine anymore.....

I just look at my office...Did i really spend so many years here, i feel it's just the other day i stepped in and now am stepping out.
My youth, the best days of my life, ....
I was engrossed in life, in living..
Today i ask myself was it worth my life........

Walking down the corridor of my office i meet my friends who where close to me....... I think, ......Many others too,
some just smile, some give looks. Some ignore....Some others talk to me....some are really heart warming, My day starts...., ...

I shall miss all that....am i feeling sad...bad or what am I feeling..
I tell myself.. you will get used to that....life is the best school., ..

slowly but steadily each one i see today will be gone tomorrow..... That is the law of nature., , , .. But my heart says something else....
there is no escape one must live till the last breath..., . Till your time comes, this is your last phase of life......... So live on and on....and on......

Suja nair