My Upmarket Dunny Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

At dawn one day I told my honey
'I'm in a hurry for the Dunny.'
Which meant, of course, I am confessing
that matters were, inside me, pressing

Each day, and always right at dawn
I stretch, get out of bed and yawn
when Nature calls from down below
which means I surely have to go.

Our Dunny is a doubledecker
the holes are huge so that my pecker
fits comfortably when at rest
(humilitas humanum est) .

The catalogue from Ward and Sears
as well as bills, now in arrears,
weigh down the local papers well
and from the rafters hangs a bell.

Aunt Hulda visiting from town
did bring a Salvos bible down
and, Jimmy, he's the hired hand
he works the tractors on the land,

and keeps a stash of magazines
that do depict those porno scenes.
I, for myself, do have a mind
because I sit there and unwind,

to place a plasma type TV
onto the shelf for me to see
those early morning news and more
from Salvador and Singapore.

So, can you tell, I like it nice
oh yes, there is that Edelweiss
suspended from the ceiling vent
releasing a most precious scent.

Enough for now, but let me say
should you have business my way
stop in and join me in the Dunny
we welcome all, if hard or runny,
it all goes down into the pit
an avalanche or bit by bit.