Em Jay Christian
Never Mine - Poem by Em Jay Christian
I sit at home, alone,
And I worry you're not sober.
I sit and try to learn,
How to hate you, cause we're over.
I sit and try to put,
All that emptiness aside.
But it's getting harder not to miss,
The only time I felt alive.
I'd like to think you miss me,
But I know you're not alone.
And every time I try to call,
Someone says that you're not home.
You used to worry for my safety,
And for my immortal soul.
Well, I'm lost in deep depression,
And I've lost all self-control.
Every mark there on my body,
Burned like it's laces with cyanide.
So please don't ask me if I'm hurting,
Cause you know I hate to lie.
Before you swear that you meant nothing,
I said I loved you all along.
And tears still fill my eyes,
Every time I hear that song.
You swore you'd always love me,
Just one more promise that you broke.
Now I feel so goddamed stuped,
For even having hope.
Every scar here on my body,
Seems to know your name.
And I'm hurt by the realization,
That I'm just not quite the same.
I guess you could say that I still love you,
Even after all this time.
Even though it breaks my head,
To know that you were never mine.
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